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Look for the Beauty

27th March 2025

Think about the last time you were awed by beauty.

Perhaps it was a rising moon, a friend’s smile, a fluffy, toffee coloured puppy, a newborn baby or a stunning landscape. Intentionally placing our attention on the phenomenal wonders we’re surrounded by each day can protect us from negative experiences and reinforce our wellbeing.

A core pathway in the Visible Wellbeing programme at ISWA is attention and awareness. Learning about and practicing these skills is intrinsically linked to wellbeing. According to Professor Lea Waters, creator of ‘Visible Wellbeing, ‘Attention is our ability to focus, whether on inner aspects of self, such as emotions and physical sensations, or on external stimuli. Awareness refers to the ability to pay attention to a stimulus as it occurs. Wellbeing is improved when individuals are aware of, and can consciously direct, their attention’.

From a pragmatic perspective, the ability to be aware and attend to the world around us is essential to survive. There are inherent dangers in this magnificent world, so we protect ourselves by being informed, respectful and mindful of them. It is also commonly understood that without the ability to set our minds to focus and attend to learning, we would remain ignorant and isolated.

Alternatively, though, when we offer up our attention to people, places and experiences or savour them, this can reap phenomenal benefits. Bryant and Veroff (2007) define savouring as ‘…attending, appreciating, and enhancing positive experiences that occur in one’s life.’ 

What is savouring? Definition, meaning and examples Berkeley

The ISWA Kindy children are masterful at noticing wonders around them every day. They relish moments of close observation such as discovering a budding strawberry or a passionfruit emerging in its infant phase from an exotic flower. They immerse themselves in novel textures such as chocolate coloured mud in their playground creek. They are quick to share their surprise and glee at spotting a kookaburra effortlessly balanced on a branch. They devour celebratory treats, such as birthday cakes, with gusto, oblivious to smears of icing on their faces.

We are all familiar with the cliches entreating us to ‘Stop and smell the roses’ or to ‘Hasten slowly’ and we often remark that ‘Time flies’. As hackneyed and trite as such sayings are, they contain a kernel of truth which is quite profound. This is that our world is sublimely beautiful. We live at a hectic pace in a bustling, frequently overstimulating world.

Deliberately thinking about positive emotions and what generated them is one way of savouring in the present. Buddha says What we think, we become’ so if we are intentional in trying to connect to the present moment, this will spark delight. Alternatively, we can recall moments which have enraptured us. Our imaginations are marvellous tools to help us anticipate what will happen and we can also savour the past. For example, a school camp with Year 4 friends, a relative’s memorable wedding or finally passing our driver’s licence. Mindfully holding onto, and savouring, what feels good, such as the sounds, sensations, sights and smells we experience can be immeasurably enriching.

In the words of Barbara Fredrickson’s “Broaden-and-Build Theory” of positive emotions, such emotions –

“…broaden an individual’s momentary thought-action repertoire: joy sparks the urge to play, interest sparks the urge to explore, contentment sparks the urge to savour and integrate, and love sparks a recurring cycle of each of these urges within safe, close relationships.” (2004)

Positive emotions are not just happy feelings, though. They can be the foundation for those fleeting but meaningful moments that make life worth living. They also have other advantages. They can benefit physical and psychological health, promote creative thought and action, support quicker recovery from stress and ‘facilitate more effective coping … buffering us against symptoms of depression’ (Dolphin, Steinhardt + Cance, 2015). At ISWA we encourage students to recognise such emotions and reference them in differentiated ways using specific language such as joy, contentment, hope, gratitude, enthusiasm and affection.

Notions of beauty, of course, vary widely across cultures and eras. Interpretations depend on variables such as geographic region, traditions, religion, age, gender, and socioeconomic status. Perceptions of what is beautiful vary, too, impacting the ways people behave and what is cherished. The earliest philosophers, such as ‘Plato (428–347 BCE), conceived beauty as a form of perfection and eternal truth. Aristotle (384–322 BCE) associated it with harmony, proportion and order’. (Eliseth Leão, 2024) Beauty can also open boxes of tender memories.

So, there are an unlimited range of ways cultivating our attention and awareness can benefit our wellbeing. Engaging in the expressive arts can unite and heal us stimulating our creativity and imaginations. Relishing being outside in nature can amplify good feelings. .Acts of kindness and generosity or a genuine warm smile can be beautiful. Kahlil Gibran said: ‘Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.’

When I asked students, across a range of ages, ‘What is beautiful?’ here are a few of their responses –

When reflecting upon the fundamental meaning of life, Kathryn Mannix, a palliative care consultant (2025) suggested –

‘…wisdom comes when we recognise the pricelessness of this moment. Instead of yearning for the lost past, or leaning into the unguaranteed future, we are most truly alive when we give our full attention to what is here, right now.’

and it is difficult to argue with this perspective.

 

Christine Rowlands

School Counsellor

 

 

References

Why does beauty matter?

Perception of beauty in different cultures

What is the meaning of life? Fifteen possible answers

What are positive emotions in psychology?

Read more about Look for the Beauty

The Lasting Value of Learning Journeys in Schools

26th February 2025

In education, certain practices become so ingrained in the life of a school that their true value can sometimes be overlooked. Learning journeys—dedicated times when students share their learning with their families—are one such example. They are not a new concept, but their impact remains profound, particularly when thoughtfully implemented in a way that truly honours student voice, agency, and academic rigour.

 

At the International School of Western Australia (ISWA), an IB World School delivering the Primary Years Programme (PYP), learning journeys are more than just a display of student work; they are a reflection of the inquiry-driven, student-centred learning that defines PYP education. Unlike in non-PYP settings where learning showcases may primarily focus on teacher-directed outcomes, PYP learning journeys place students at the heart of the experience, empowering them to take ownership of their learning and communicate their progress in meaningful ways.

Why Learning Journeys Matter

For students, learning journeys provide a unique opportunity to reflect on their growth, articulate their understanding, and build confidence in their ability to express their learning. When children guide their parents through their classroom, explain their inquiry, and demonstrate their skills, they are not simply recalling information—they are developing critical communication skills, self-awareness, and a sense of pride in their achievements.

Furthermore, learning journeys are a testament to the rigour embedded in the learning process. Students are not merely showcasing polished final products; they are sharing the complexities of their inquiry, discussing their challenges, and highlighting how they have refined their understanding through feedback and perseverance. This process strengthens their metacognition and fosters a growth mindset—essential skills for lifelong learning.

For instance, a Year 6 student might walk their parents through an inquiry into environmental sustainability, showcasing a self-directed research project, explaining their data analysis, and reflecting on their personal actions to support a greener future. Another Year 1 student might demonstrate a mathematical concept they previously struggled with, explaining how they overcame challenges through persistence and inquiry. These moments are powerful—not only do they celebrate progress, but they also reinforce the real-world relevance of learning.

The PYP Difference

The PYP framework at ISWA enhances the learning journey experience by embedding a deep sense of reflection, agency, and academic depth into the process. Students are not just presenting their work; they are engaged in metacognitive discussions, evaluating their growth, and setting personal goals. They understand that learning is not about the end product alone but about the process—how they think, question, and connect ideas across subjects.

In contrast to more traditional models of education where learning is often assessed through standardised testing or teacher-led reporting, PYP learning journeys emphasise student-led conferences, formative feedback, and authentic demonstrations of understanding. Parents leave not just with a sense of what their child has learnt, but with an appreciation for how their child is thinking, collaborating, and developing as an inquirer.

The Power, Pride and Joy of Sharing Learning

Beyond academic rigour, learning journeys offer something equally vital—the deep emotional connection that comes with sharing growth with those who matter most. When students present their learning to their families, they experience immense pride and joy in their achievements. The encouragement and validation they receive from parents, grandparents, and guardians fuel their motivation and reinforce their belief in their own abilities.

The act of explaining their learning in their own words solidifies their understanding and builds confidence. Seeing their parents engaged and excited about their progress reminds students that their efforts matter and that learning is a journey best celebrated together. These moments of connection create lasting impressions, fostering a love of learning that extends beyond the classroom.

At ISWA, the PYP approach ensures that learning journeys are more than a tradition—they are an integral part of fostering lifelong learners who understand the value of their own growth. As schools continue to evolve, reaffirming the significance of these experiences will ensure that students remain at the centre of their learning, with their voices leading the way and their achievements celebrated by those who cheer them on the most.

 

– Paul O’Brien

Head of Primary

Read more about The Lasting Value of Learning Journeys in Schools

It is not ‘No’. It’s just ‘Not yet’.

1st November 2024

It’s something all humans have in common – the inclination, occasionally, to succumb to the temptations of instant gratification. Our baser urges can devilishly hijack our noble intentions at any moment. If this is infrequent and doesn’t result in anything life threatening or illegal it can be understandable and forgivable. Who amongst us hasn’t eaten that second serving of chocolate gateau or bought that pair of tantalisingly impractical but gorgeous shoes? 

But what is ‘delayed gratification’? The widely agreed definition is ‘the ability to delay an impulse for an immediate reward to receive a more favourable reward at a later time ‘.  This sounds sensible and simple; however, it takes work.  

'A Good Choice May Go Unrewarded for a Long Time'

Many of us are familiar with the famous ‘marshmallow test’ undertaken with Walter Mischel, a psychologist who offered a group of young children the choice of eating a marshmallow immediately or waiting a short time and receiving two instead. As anticipated, when the experimenter left the room, some children failed to resist the temptation of the sweet, eating it immediately, whilst others used a range of ways (some rather amusing to witness) to delay their enjoyment of the marshmallow and earned two marshmallows. Mischel then examined the ramifications of this experiment demonstrating that those who waited seemed to have advantages later in life, such as better academic performances and fewer behavioural issues.

So, in what domains could we delay gratification and why do they matter?  Research has indicated that the ability to delay reward is a trait of successful people.  Examples of a few of areas these are: 

  • Financial – accumulating money by controlling the temptation to buy goods at the annual sales or clicking to purchase items on Amazon or Temu. This could result in the long yearned for European holiday.
  • Health – dedicating time to buying and preparing nutritious food instead of calling into McDonald’s after work for the sake of expeditiousness. Eschewing the temporary high of alcohol, nicotine and other drugs.
  • Social – declining invitations and entreaties from friends to dedicate time to learning and study instead.
  • Relationships – managing urges to respond in the heat of a moment with a partner or friend in retaliation for something they’ve said or done.
  • Achievement at work – developing a strong work ethic, remaining self-motivated and focussing on a long-term goal

 

The ability to regulate our emotions and behaviours is a fundamental element of  executive function.  These are the group of skills which allow us to plan, monitor, and attain goals.   Instant gratification can be a habit, one we can control and eliminate but to do so requires an awareness of such impulses and a commitment to new habit formation. 

Young people need to know that impulses pass and that they can cultivate self-regulation. Research indicates that those who master this are more self-reliant and self-confident.  Delayed gratification can be perceived as a muscle we can grow for the benefit of our future selves.  Given many young people are immersed in, and powerfully influenced by, messages of ‘You can have what you want NOW’ and ‘You deserve to treat yourself today’ they may be unprepared to cope with life’s inevitable setbacks and unfamiliar with how to problem solve.   

Mastering self-discipline takes dedication to an incentive and ongoing commitment.  One challenge is that it can be uncertain when the long-term goal will be attained.  Our personalities, mental and physical health, social and work contexts, as well as other individual characteristics, all impact our success in this arena.  In adolescents, instant reward centres in the brain are ill developed which means instant gratification is even more appealing.

What, then, are the ways we can improve our predilection for instant rewards? Examples include –

  • Thinking about consequences before acting.
  • Visualising ourselves coping successfully and fostering self-belief.
  • Becoming aware of, and managing, our emotions so they don’t overwhelm or control us.
  • Setting achievable and realistic goals.
  • Being clear about how long we need to wait.
  • Becoming attuned to triggers which hijack our self-control.
  • Factoring into our lives routines and rewards.
  • Avoiding tempting situations.

Naturally, our levels of self-control vary throughout each day due to a myriad factors, And of course, we’re all trying to balance spontaneity, joy and living in the present with an awareness of what is in our  best interests and the interests of those around us. We’re not robots.  We possess passions and predilections which make us intriguing and endlessly fascinating.   However; it is worth trying to become more self-aware and self-disciplined so that we don’t sacrifice what we what most for what we think we want immediately.

Christine Rowlands

References

People with this quality are more likely to succeed James Clear

What is delayed gratification Positive Psychology

How to improve your self-control

Berkley Institute of Wellbeing Delayed Gratification

Self-Control Psychology Today

How to STOP impulsive behaviours

Neurobiology of the adolescent brain and behavior. 

Read more about It is not ‘No’. It’s just ‘Not yet’.

Switch it Off.

20th September 2024

Go on.  Switch if off.

Spring, in all its glory, is here.  The natural environment is calling.  School holidays are upon us.  It’s timely to consider doing something many of us vow we should and that is to step away from screens.

Of course, it’s easy to demonise time on screens and succumb to black and white thinking blaming them for untold (and even yet to manifest) ills in society.  In the developed world it can prove impossible to work, learn and communicate without them and it would be a naive and uniquely self-sufficient soul who advocated dispensing with them altogether.   This, then, may be a chance to modify our dependence upon technology and screens or tackle our compulsive habits which preclude us from sampling other valuable aspects of life.

Research from many reputable sources convincingly argues for us to increase our awareness of, and involvement in, the technological lives of our young people.  Our children may be tech savvy, but they don’t always possess the wisdom or insight to recognise that their values and beliefs are being forged in often nefarious ways or their thoughts manipulated.  During this vulnerable period, they can easily and quickly adopt attitudes and practices which are bigoted, blinkered and even offensive. Their critical thinking skills can be stymied as misinformation, stereotyping, bias, propaganda and selective reporting masquerading as truth populate parts of the online world.

The temptation to gravitate toward the scandalous, salacious and subversive simply means we’re human.  We’ve all fallen prey to the lure of instant gratification. Continually comparing ourselves to false representations of an ‘ideal’ form, though, or individuals who are either famous or notorious, can be dangerous.  

Young people are clocking up increasing time on devices, and are less engaged in physical activities.  An American study of  40,000 children  revealed that once the one hour mark per day is reached  ‘screen time was associated with less curiosity, lower self-control, less emotional stability and lower psychological wellbeing’.  Worryingly, too, 14- to 17-year-olds who used screens throughout the day were ‘...twice as likely to have been diagnosed with depression’.  (The secret to why exercise is so good for mental health: hope molecules). 

Social media usage has also been associated with a negative impact on ‘...attention span, memory, and overall brain function’ (Online bullying and mental health May 26 2024 ABC).The younger users of social media are ‘more likely than older ones to have body image issues, while kids who use Instagram or Snapchat before age 11 face a higher risk of online harassment’  (Computers in human behaviour) and (Computers in Human Behaviour 2022).

There are increasing calls from experts for governments and technology companies to implement policies and restrictions on social media for the benefit of children’s wellbeing   (US surgeon general issues advisory on profound risks).  A May 2024 report from Common Sense Media (Common Sense Media Report about link between social media and mental health May 2024)  outlines that young people ‘…experience stressful content and must actively take steps to manage their exposure to it’.  Excess time on screens can hinder the ability to interpret emotions and it can trigger aggressive conduct.

Of course, it is easy to highlight problems, not so easy to remedy them.

Those of us privileged enough to work alongside young people know that they rely on digital technologies to connect with others, to be ‘heard’, understood and to link to communities they may not find in their everyday lives.  They are also seeking to explore, escape and sample other worlds.  On occasion, they even research ways to benefit their own health. Adolescence, a period we now know lasts until at least 25 years, is a crucial one for brain development.  During this stage, young people are extremely vulnerable to peer pressure and their sense of self-worth is forming. Excessive time spent in front of a screen can diminish executive functioning and academic performance. Prolific gamers have been found to have ‘higher rates of eye fatigue, back pain, and wrist strain than casual gamers…aspiring eSport gamers have higher rates of body fat and decreased bone mineral density’ (Daniel Stjepanovic  Heavy Screen Time for Children Research).  We’re aware that many of our young people struggle to just sit with themselves without something to “do”.  The word ‘boring’ is pejorative and the antidote is often to click, scroll, ‘like’, view, check and troll.

There are many benefits to detaching from screens.  These include increased sleep, more time to move and maintain healthy weight, increased productivity, creativity and greater impulse control. We want our young people to self-regulate and be proportionate in their approach to technology.

Here are a few of the innumerable practical tips to reintroduce more balance into technology-dominated lives and treasure time away from daily obligations, particularly as school holidays are looming –

  • Charge all electronic devices outside the bedroom. This is fundamental.  Banish them.  They are very distracting and tempting, even if they are in the same room where people are attempting to work or rest.  Notifications should be switched off.
  • Go outside, Hike, head into a local or national park. Explore, marvel at, and relish, nature.    Bike ride. Take up fishing. The CEO of the Australian Psychological Society, Zena Burgess, says ‘…a sunset can connect us with something bigger than ourselves’. She says ‘research highlights the positive impact natural environments can have, especially on low levels of anxiety or negative thinking’. 
  • Head out of the city. Take a train or bus to a new destination. Play some uplifting music or a collection of podcasts on the journey.
  • Start journaling. Sketch, paint, take up photography. Challenge family members to board games. Knit, sew, experiment with new recipes or read.

Screens are NOT evil incarnate neither is all screen time equal.  Phones help young people stay safe and keep in touch with loved ones. Technology is a privilege in the 21st century world but needs to be used in moderation, certainly never substituted for face-to-face communication.

So go on.  Step away from those screens for a major proportion of every day.  Separate from those influencers, leave Taylor Swift in the adoring arms of other Swifties for a while.  You may find that life holds so many more opportunities and delights.

Christine Rowlands

Screen time guidelines for children and young adults.  

(source: The Sydney Children’s Hospital Network)

  • Children younger than 2 years: no sedentary screen time
  • Children aged 2–5 years: no more than one hour per day; less is better
  • Children and young people aged 5–17 years: no more than 2 hours of sedentary recreational screen time per day, this does not include required schoolwork. Less is better.

Further Reading and References

Read more about Switch it Off.

Communities, Connectedness & Why They Matter

30th August 2024

When do schools become communities? What is it about communities that make them essential for people to thrive?

Our ISWA ‘Purpose and Commitments’ states:

‘We value a diverse community where everyone is safe, included, appreciated, and feels free to be themselves. We recognise that our school community, the host country, and the international community provide an invaluable opportunity for us to be enriched by the perspectives of others. We are committed to collaborate and communicate effectively, and with empathy.’

Here we recognise that wellbeing is a multi-faceted concept – a combination of emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and social health – which reflects how people feel about themselves and life in general.

Together we strive, each day, to model wellbeing behaviours, teach competencies and actively engage students so they feel aligned to ISWA values.  We want our students to feel safe, that teachers care about and treat them justly, and to be good about being at school.  We want students to view their lives as meaningful and important.

Feeling connected at school is a protective factor for young people.  When they feel a sense of belonging, they are favourably disposed to learning.  These connections directly influence regular school attendance, which we know is fundamental to improved education and wellbeing outcomes. Connectedness also ‘…reduces risk-taking behaviour and violent and antisocial behaviour, as well as the likelihood of emotional problems.’  (Why is school connectedness so important)

Experts, like Dr Justin Coulson, report that:

‘It’s impossible to overstate the importance of connection.  There is overwhelming evidence in the positive psychology, wellbeing and educational research.  With connections, students believe they are lovable, have worth, feel safe, they’re more able to regulate their emotions, they trust more easily and they’re more resilient. Behaviours in children are bids for connection’.  (Dr Justin Coulson)

Experiencing relationships with family members, friends and schoolmates lowers anxiety and depression. They raise levels of self-esteem, foster greater empathy, and facilitate more trusting and cooperative relationships. Strong mutually beneficial relationships can also help strengthen immune systems and stimulate disease recovery. Such connections help people feel understood, encouraged. and more able to persist when faced with challenges.

September 12 is the 2024 R U OK Day and it provides an ideal platform for us to reinforce these messages about how vital connections are throughout our lives. The focus this year is on ‘Asking R U OK? Any Day because life happens every day’.  

Across the primary school our emphasis will be on students being aware of others and demonstrating ways to be a caring friend.  Children will be invited to wear something yellow to school as recognition of yellow symbolizing optimism, joy, happiness and friendship. Some activities will be integrated into their normal schedule to highlight the fact that we ALL must be willing to genuinely listen to others so they can communicate their feelings and share what’s going on in their lives. Often sincere, active listening is all that’s required to really ‘see’, value and support someone.  Dedicated listening and acknowledgement can have a very powerful impact.

Although secondary students will be off campus on camp, this is an Australia-wide initiative which we want to champion.  Staff will also take time in September to reflect upon the significance of connections at ISWA and celebrate the connections which are at both the core of our Visible Wellbeing programme and comprise the DNA of our community.   

Other references:

Strong Relationships

The Centrality of Connectedness

Read more about Communities, Connectedness & Why They Matter

Love the One You’re With. Yourself.

24th May 2024

"There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy." - Friedrich Nietzsche

It can be scary to sustain an injury in an accident or because of illness. The body we largely ignore, assuming it will function at an optimum level indefinitely, is suddenly vulnerable, flawed and requires our undivided attention. It demands that we prioritise its needs, tune into its every nuance and respond with care. Its oblivious to us having places to be, people to meet or responsibilities. It reminds us that it is the boss and it cannot be neglected or ignored. It cannot be mistreated or abused. The message it sends – that healing is paramount – is salutary and essential. Everything and everyone else must wait.

Our bodies are miraculous and mysterious, robust yet delicate, endlessly surprising yet with important limitations. All human bodies are fundamentally the same yet house individuals as diverse as our limitless imaginations.

When we’re young, it’s almost inevitable that we are fearless, feel invincible and want to experiment with the lengths to which we can test our bodies. It’s almost a cliché that the young assume they will live forever, that the mere mention of old age is akin to speaking to them in an alien language as their eyes glaze over and they sigh! Old age is never a planet they will inhabit – that’s what they think. In many contradictory ways, we want the young to be brave, to explore new horizons and to test their limitations. After all, being a ‘risk taker’ is an element of the IB Learner Profile and some of the most amazing feats of endurance and the most phenomenal discoveries are a consequence of the young, curious, and fearlessly leaping in where angels have previously feared to tread.

There can be a heady price to pay, though, for ignoring body signals. Consider the accumulated research and current alerts to sportspeople about concussion and the fatalities we continue to see on roads due to alcohol, speed, and exhaustion. There are those who simply must bungee jump, skydive, swim with predatorial ocean life, run with bulls, ice climb, see great white sharks up close, raft in treacherous rapids and summit precipitous mountains. There is a proliferation of vaping. Millions of people consume fat clogged fast food. It seems that we humans take an interminable period or a tragedy to cherish our bodies.

There are those, too, who, very sadly, adopt ludicrous measures to adhere to fictional ‘ideals’ of bodies. The Australian Butterfly Foundation (Positive body image Butterfly Foundation) is a reputable organisation for those caught up in dangerous modes of body destruction. Increasingly, there is evidence of the malevolent impact social media and influencers can have on perceptions of beauty. (Is there a relationship between social media and body image?). One example the Foundation cites is ‘image-centric social media platforms like Instagram’. We know that cyberbullying can negatively impact body image and self-esteem. Filtering and editing tools can make people feel inadequate and ‘TikTok content often promotes disordered eating habits, presenting thinner body types as more ideal and preying on the viewers’ insecurities around their bodies…‘ A 2024 study noted that “thinspiration” or “fitspiration” are likely to trigger poor body image and eating disorders’

"Life is so much more beautiful and complex than a number on a scale" - Tess Holliday

The Butterfly Foundation explains that body image refers to ‘the values and beliefs we hold about our body and appearance, the way we think and feel and the attitudes and behaviours we engage in’. They advocate body positivity – inclusive promotion of ALL bodies irrespective of their ‘size, abilities, colour, gender, or shape.’ We are all valuable and enough, deserving of respect and appreciation.

Beyond Blue advocate we need to focus on our personal strengths and qualities that are not appearance-based so our self -esteem is robust and our lifestyle conducive to overall health. Laura Bajurny, from the Alcohol and Drug Foundation, claims ‘…young people can easily acquire both nicotine and non-nicotine vapes online… and that they are aggressively marketed targeted at young people. She explains that ‘…heavy alcohol consumption is connected to some of the most common causes of death for young people – accidents and injuries including drownings, motor vehicle crashes. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ National Health Survey (March 2022) … ‘one in four Australians drinks too much and those 18 to 24 are more likely to have consumed five or more on any day at least once a month consistent with “heavy episodic drinking”,

At ISWA, we imbue all our student interactions with reflections on their strengths, ways they can appreciate themselves and how to form healthy habits. These are all elements of the S.E.A.R.C.H. pathways in Visible Wellbeing. We want every student to be resilient so they can avoid physical, emotional and psychological injury. We encourage them to recognise their uniqueness, to maximise their potential and to be thankful.

– Christine Rowlands

Works Cited

50+ Love your body quotes

50 Body positive quotes to love the skin you’re in

Why our bodies and brains bounce back

Read more about Love the One You’re With. Yourself.

Take A Risk. Forgive.

3rd May 2024

Take a Risk. Forgive.

‘Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.’

Indira Gandhi

We all feel wronged at times.  It’s legitimate to feel like this, particularly if our wounds are grievous.  We may experience anger, pain and resentment.  Should we simply let go of such feelings or will this condone what’s been done to us, feel unjust or too passive?  What if the offending person fails to recognise what they’ve done?

Given the current explosive conflict continuing to erupt in various parts of the world it can seem as if there is a deficit of forgiveness being demonstrated. However, forgiving is not the same as forgetting.  Deciding to forgive is a conscious one about relinquishing the past. Some argue it’s a virtue.

Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital claims that ‘Forgiveness is a choice…and an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not’.   We can ‘…decide to forgive’, she argues.

Forgiveness is also not about disregarding our injury or distress, ignoring, pretending or excusing something unjust or cruel, nor is it accepting that what happened is OK.  It is not about making excuses for someone or even reconciling with them.  Instead, it’s about abandoning the desire for an apology or revenge.  It’s seeking to overcome feelings of malice and aiming for harmony.

At ISWA, we try and guide students to recognise and accept that all people are flawed and that sometimes we will feel negatively in response to what happens or what someone says to us. It can be an understandable default position for young people to think in ‘black and white’ when they perceive things in categoric terms of right and wrong, but there are innumerable reasons why opting NOT to forgive is detrimental to our wellbeing.

‘Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.’ 

Mark Twain

So, what are the benefits of forgiveness?

Physiologically, it boosts our immune system and minimises heart related issues.  Mentally, we know that people who forgive are inclined to experience less stress, anger, anxiety and depression.  Feelings of autonomy and control increase, as do feelings of self-worth and the ability to manage stress. It’s makes sense that all types of relationships are buoyed by forgiveness – it strengthens a sense of connection, fosters trust and is aligned to empathy.  It can enhance communication, loyalty and the ability to compromise. 

But what does forgiveness require?  Being attuned to our thoughts and feelings is an essential start, as is being both courageous and honest enough to examine these in the proverbial cold light of day. Deluding ourselves will not counter feelings of malice.  It won’t dispense with blame. Harbouring resentment begins to exert power over us because emotions such as this can be toxic for our mental health. Ruminating on them eats away valuable time, attention and energy.

Bob Enright, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, pioneered the study of forgiveness three decades ago.  He says, ‘…true forgiveness offers empathy, compassion and understanding to the person responsible for the hurt’.  Fred Luskin, a pioneer in the science and practice of forgiveness.…says that ‘The essence of forgiveness is being resilient when things don’t go the way you want—to be at peace with “No,” be at peace with what is, be at peace with the vulnerability inherent in human life. Then you have to move forward and live your life without prejudice’.

Harvard Medical School recommends the R.E.A.C.H method of forgiveness.  This acronym stands for: Recall, Emphasize, Altruistic gift, Commit, and Hold. These are the steps -.

Recall.  Begin by recalling the wrongdoing in an objective way. The goal is not to think of the person in a negative light nor to wallow in self-pity, but to come to a clear understanding of the wrong that was done. Visualize the person and situation and all the feelings that come with it. Don’t push aside anything, especially if it makes you feel angry or upset.

Empathize. Next, try to understand the other person’s point of view regarding why they hurt you, but without minimizing or downplaying the wrong that was done. Sometimes the wrongdoing was not personal, but due to something the other person was dealing with. “People who attack others are sometimes themselves in a state of fear, worry, and hurt,” says Dr. VanderWeele. “They often don’t think when they hurt others, and they just lash out.”

Altruistic gift. This step is about addressing your own shortcomings. Recall a time when you treated someone harshly and were forgiven. How did it make you feel? Recognizing this helps you realize that forgiveness is an altruistic gift that you can give to others.

Commit. Commit yourself to forgive. For instance, write about your forgiveness in a journal or a letter that you don’t send or tell a friend. “This helps with the decisional side of forgiveness,” says Dr. VanderWeele.

Hold. Finally, hold on to your forgiveness. This step is tough because memories of the event will often recur. “Forgiveness is not erasure,” says Dr. VanderWeele. “Rather, it’s about changing your reaction to those memories.”

The advice from this revered institution is that this process may take time so additional tips from Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, are to practice self-compassion

‘Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailor’.

Dalai Lama

Perhaps, then, the first question to ask of ourselves is ‘Are you willing to take a risk and forgive?

Christine Rowlands

Works Cited

Forgiveness Your Health Depends on It

Forgiveness Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness Mayo Clinic

Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health

The Power of Forgiveness

How Forgiveness Impacts Mental Health and Relieves Stress

What is forgiveness Greater Good  

Forgiveness Your Health Depends on It Johns Hopkins

The Healing Power of Forgiveness Psychology Today

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Why Making Mistakes is Imperative for our Well-being

9th February 2024

 

Take a moment to consider how many mistakes you have made today.  If we are scrupulously honest this may be confronting, disappointing or salutary.  Admittedly, mistakes can be problematic, and even painful but the alternative renders us like automatons. 

Is there really a link between making mistakes and our wellbeing?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines mistake as ‘an action, decision, or judgment that produces an unwanted or unintentional result.’  This should resonate with us because being wrong does not equate to failure. It is not shameful, stupid or necessarily permanent. They don’t signal a lack of ability, indifference, indolence or flawed character traits.

Mistakes happen when we misjudge a step and take a tumble, eat too much spicy food at a party, inadvertently disclose a secret, harbour unrealistic expectations, speed when late for an appointment, misjudge someone on first impression – the list is limitless. And the very reason it IS limitless is because we are living beings. Consider the famous mistakes made which were deemed beneficial such as Post It Notes, made in an attempt to make strong adhesives, the microwave oven, penicillin, x-rays, tea bags, pacemakers, Velcro and even Coke- a-Cola.  We have all heard tales of business leaders even actively encouraging risk taking employees to make mistakes as this is both a sign of imagination and striving to improve. It’s vital in the areas of medicine, science, music, art and in education we try to model the learning struggle by acknowledging mistakes and how these can be insightful, rather than condemning or ignoring them.  As educationalists, we are committed to learning. It’s the rationale for our professional existence. We champion life-long learning and, in every context, emphasise the significance of trying. There is no learning without mistakes. At ISWA we champion ‘growth mindsets.’

So, why is it that making mistakes contributes to our wellbeing?

They deepen our self- knowledge. When we reflect upon a mistake, we can spot our own prejudices and biases. This process can engender humility as it encourages us to recognise our shortcomings. Analysing mistakes can lead us to embrace different beliefs and feed our curiosity. Oftentimes it can lead us to being more realistic. If we’re honest and willing to change it can result in us being more responsible. 

In fact, the experts at Headspace argue that ‘It would be healthier and more accurate to think that admitting when you’re wrong affirms something positive —that you are confident and well-reasoned, and that you won’t let your ego get in the way of a good idea.’

If we do not make mistakes, some things that can happen are:

  • Our creativity is limited.
  • Change does not happen.
  • We miss out on so many experiences.
  • We can be over reliant on assumptions rather than upon asking questions/interrogating our beliefs.
  • We may be plagued by regret over lost opportunities.
  • We remain in ignorance which is universally acknowledged as being dangerous.

It’s all right to be wrong. Mistakes need not threaten our sense of self or confidence. Mistakes can connect us with others, Mistakes can fuel development.  If we continually strive to learn and improve in the wake of mistakes, at the end of each day, we can feel justifiably proud of having TRIED.

Works Cited:

 

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The Well-Being Benefits of Learning New Skills

2nd February 2024

Navigating New Waters

Take a moment to think about the last new skill you learned.  How did you feel about the challenge?  What strategies did you use to overcome any difficulties you experienced?  How did you feel about mastering the skill and in what ways have you incorporated it into your life since?

Aside from the vital skill of learning to read, for which many of us are eternally grateful and which was an entrée into a myriad magical world, leaning to swim is an essential skill for those of us living around the fringes of this large island continent. 

As our Primary Head of School Paul O’Brien explained in last week’s Newsletter acquiring this skill is fundamental for survival, but also to engage in many opportunities in life here. He cogently explained the additional benefits it brings such as enhanced communication and problem solving.

What, then, is the relationship between acquiring a new skill, such as swimming, and wellbeing? 

The Importance of 'Having a go!'

It could be argued that across the span of our lives, beginning in uterine, we are continually growing, adapting, evolving, and changing.  That’s one of the wonders of being alive.  To what extent, though, do we take time to reflect upon these things or are we inclined to take them for granted?

One compelling argument for learning new skills is that it can be enormously enjoyable in both more formal contexts, such as schools, but also in all other aspects of our lives.  Learning how to ride a bike can be just as thrilling and liberating as crafting an argumentative essay.

Of course, embarking upon new skill learning takes courage and can be a risk.  Not all of us can collaborate successfully to write a hit musical, paint as sublimely as Monet or play English Premier League level football but ‘having a go’ helps us feel positive and proud of our efforts.  These experiences can also reveal to us previously unknown strengths, such as creativity. and provide the incentive for us to tap into our potential.

Seeking out the Positive

Learning in relation to others, in these ways, results in a greater likelihood that we will appreciate alternative perspectives.  Logically, such cooperation engenders empathy, inclusivity, and respect.  If more people exposed themselves to those different to themselves and improved their understanding of alternative beliefs, values, cultures, languages, and histories, we may have a more peaceful, harmonious world.

Unquestioningly, life be unexpected, mystifying and even incredibly distressing.  If we stubbornly maintain a laser-like focus on searching out the good, on continual learning and on embracing each opportunity to make an effort, the likelihood is that, not only will we become dolphin-like swimmers, but we will fight off the deleterious consequences of stress, and thrive.

References:

Five Ways to Wellbeing

10 Key to Happier Living

New Skills for Children Raising Children Australia

Just One Thing BBC

Train your Brain from Harvard Health Publishing

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How FUN Fosters Well-Being

25th January 2024

Try asking people what FUN means to them – how they recognise it in others, how they feel it themselves and to describe the circumstances in which fun manifests.  It’s tricky.  Universal definitions of ‘fun’ don’t exist, nor is it something that can be readily quantified, but we all know when we’re experiencing fun. 

The Colour of Fun

Friday afternoon, January 19, was fun.  Why?  Because our entire ISWA school community joined together, with a tangible, meaningful goal, to participate in some (colourful), laugh- out- loud fun. Doing something so counterintuitive i.e., breaching the rules of etiquette and civility by targeting others with ‘paint’’, mucking up, not concerning ourselves with grubbing our clothing, stimulated laughter.  It offered us permission to see each other in a novel context, to witness different aspects of our personalities and to ‘step outside’ our normal personas.  We had a licence to play up; we were sanctioned to be naughty.  

Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, and a science writer, says that rather than just being “frivolous”, fun is absolutely essential for our mental and physical health. How having more fun can enrich your relationship .  Price proposes that fun ‘counters the harmful effects of stress and isolation, both of which raise the levels of the stress hormone, cortisol’.  Consistently raised levels of cortisol can predispose us to some diseases. “When we have fun, we’re socially connected and relaxed, both of which lower cortisol levels,” Price says. Her beliefs about fun, comprising three elements, ‘playfulness, connection and flow’ are the result of discussions with people across the world about moments when they experienced the most fun.  (Why having fun is the secret to a healthier life ) TED Talk.

 

A Fun Research Topic

It seems contrived to try and justify/explain the advantages of fun but ample evidence exists.   Fun fosters and enhances our relationships.  It can eliminate barriers to communication, develop trust and encourage empathy. Whether we participate in spontaneous fun or willingly collaborate in more ‘planned’ fun, we’re taking risks.  We’re tossing aside the shackles of the norm and the predictable and adopting alternative guises.  This can be revealing and allow others to then view us through different lenses, perhaps more curiously, more compassionately and as fellow, flawed humans.  We’re reminded that even though fun can have many historical, cultural, regional and even religious underpinnings, there is also a certain universality to it.  Who can resist the contagious giggles of young children in moments of flow whilst safe, loved and at play.    

Doris Bergen, a professor at Miami University’s Department of Educational Psychology in ‘Want resilient and well-adjusted kids?  Let them play‘ is quoted as saying that: “Play is one of the main ways that children really consolidate their learning. The way we really make our skills permanent and enriched and highly developed, is often through our play experiences.”

Dr Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play in the USA, reminds us, though that play is “…not frivolous and not just for kids, but something that is an inherent part of human nature.”  The authors of: The importance of adult play explain that play ‘…  fuels imagination, creativity, problem-solving abilities, and emotional well-being.’ Travis Tae Oh Ph.D. in  What is the underlying psychology of having fun posits that ‘…an essential characteristic of fun is the sense of liberation… a state of hedonic engagement…’ with enjoyment as the only intended goal.  This view is corroborated by Mike Rucker (How to start having more fun)   an organisational psychologist, and behavioural scientist who cites the ‘hedonic flexibility principle’ investigated by scientists at MIT, Harvard, Stanford (2016). 

The consistent message from the experts, then, is to dismiss any pre-existing notions we may have about fun being unproductive or unimportant.  It was clear at our ‘Colour Run’ that fun can be not only memorable but terrifically enjoyable.

Perhaps our wellbeing would benefit from intentionally aiming for MORE FUN every day.

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The Power of Habits: A new year, a new you?

19th January 2024

At the beginning of each new year, many of us are tempted to set noble goals which we are convinced will improve our health, relationships, financial status and general prospects in life. For this reason, it was very timely that our partners in the Visible Wellbeing (VWB) programme returned to ISWA on Monday, January 15 to facilitate staff training on the final pathway of the S.E.A.R.C.H. model, ‘Habits and Goals’.

We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t all grapple with what are considered ‘bad’ habits.  Examples of these range from: nail biting, procrastination, skipping breakfast, stereotyping, gambling, swearing, gossiping, walking whilst staring into a phone, keeping other people waiting, smoking, watching endless episodes of Netflix series late into the night – the options are endless!

Defining the Habit

But, what is a habit?  James Clear, author of the widely quoted ‘Atomic Habits’ (2018) explains them as: ‘The small decisions made, and actions performed every day’.  Clear cites researchers at Duke University, to explain that ‘…habits account for about 40 percent of our behaviors on any given day’.  Encyclopedia Britannica defines habits as ‘Any regularly repeated behaviour that requires little or no thought and is learned rather than innate’.  It makes sense, then, that what we think, believe, do, and how our lives unfold are the result of our habits.

How are habits connected to our wellbeing?

If our lives had no structure and no predictability, things would be too chaotic to manage. Habits, like routines, can keep us, and the wider world, safe and healthy.  Examples of these are fastening car seat belts, maintaining sleep patterns, speaking kindly to ourselves, recycling and attending to our pets. Habits such as flossing, smiling when we greet people, slapping on sunblock, wearing bike helmets, and factoring in vegetables to our meals are constructive habits that contribute purposefully to our wellbeing.

Constantly relying on our willpower to make a multitude of decisions each day is a sheer impossibility.  Habits are a way of reducing variability allowing us to be more consistent.  Folklore about ex-US President Barack Obama is that he only ever wore grey or blue suits because this minimized the minor decisions he needed to make each day providing him greater ‘mental space’ for the internationally important issues of his leadership.  Being fatigued because of making insignificant decisions could have sapped all his energy.

Unleashing the Power of Self-Awareness and Positive Reinforcement

We can optimise our own strengths when creating new habits or dispensing with bad ones.  We can practice forgiving ourselves, spend time with people who care about us, express our emotions, relax using mindfulness, immerse ourselves in hobbies, skills and passions.  We can ‘habit hack’ by tagging new habits onto existing, constructive ones, such as being consciously grateful when we are provided delicious, wholesome food.  Although, according to Lally, Van Jaarsveld, Potts and Wardle (2010), it can take an average of 66 days to embed a new habit (generally between 18 – 254 days), we learned through our VWB programme that successful goal striving is a major predictor of wellbeing and that the longer the practice, the better the habit (Lowenstein, Price and Volpp 2016)

Clearly, habits are learned behaviours which can be unlearned so it’s useful to have an awareness of how our habits work by identifying the cues and rewards.  Divorcing from an unproductive habit requires the motivation to change.  Additionally, cravings can drive our behaviours so it’s worth reflecting upon what we get out of maintaining our habits.  Rewards can be powerful if they satisfy cravings.  Socrates famously said: “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom” and this is what is required to begin battling habits. Being conscious of our cues and rewards means we can begin regaining control over habits.  If we want to consume less ‘junk’ food or empty calories, we need to figure out whether it’s actually the McDonalds sundae we crave or the company of friends after school. Is the ‘reward’ satisfying hunger or is it about socialising?  Arming ourselves with the knowledge that ‘Habit loops’ consist of: cue → routine behavior → reward (meaning we’re more likely to repeat the habit) is crucial.  Behaviors with affirming consequences, attention and activities tend to be repeated until they become automatic.  Self- awareness, then, is vital to determine our motivation.  It’s also wise to wrestle with negative thoughts like ‘A chocolate is the only way I can make it through the rest of the day’ which may sabotage us.

Practical Steps for Building Good Habits and Breaking Bad Ones

Charles Duhigg, author of ‘The Power of Habit’ refers to ‘keystone habits’ or those “small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.”  These create a domino effect that change every area of our lives – small habits can have a massive impact. If the habit results in fulfilment and it is easy, then it is more likely to ‘stick’. A familiar example of a ‘keystone habit’ is exercise. When we start habitually exercising, even as infrequently as once a week, we often start changing other, unrelated patterns in our lives. For instance, we tend to start eating better and arriving at school/work earlier. We feel less stress, grow more patient and even spend less money. Exercise, as a ‘keystone habit’, triggers widespread change.

James Clear’s suggests the following:

  • Figure out, specifically, what we want to achieve. What are our intentions?
  • Be conscious of our environments (for example. avoid stocking the freezer with ice cream if we’re trying to break the junk food habit)
  • Start very small and be patient. Don’t make enormous changes immediately.
  • Celebrate achievements throughout the journey and invite friends to support us.
  • Reward ourselves.

The journey is always worthwhile!

Works Cited

Building Good Habits: 10 Tips for Lasting Change. (2013, June 30). Sparring Mind. https://www.sparringmind.com/good-habits/

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits. Penguin Publishing Group.

Davenport, B. (2020, November 8). How To Make Good Habits Stick: 11 Secrets From Research. Live Bold and Bloom. https://liveboldandbloom.com/11/habits/how-to-make-good-habits-stick

Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit : why we do what we do in life and business. Random House.

Improvement Pill. (2017, August 26). 3 Habits That Will Change Your Life. Www.youtube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DSscQlSZR4&ab_channel=ImprovementPill

Modgil, Dr. R. (2013). Why new habits are so hard to stick to. Bbc.co.uk. https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/why-new-habits-are-so-hard-to-stick-to/p07zqc7w

Proctor, B. (2015, March 31). A Habit You Simply MUST Develop. Www.youtube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzj7zP5BXdc&ab_channel=ProctorGallagherInstitute

Rutledge, T. (2023, March 16). The 7 Habits of Health and Happiness | Psychology Today Australia. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-healthy-journey/202303/the-7-habits-of-health-and-happiness

Team Credible. (2018, April 14). 10 Habits Of All Successful People! Www.youtube.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dk20-E0yx_s&ab_channel=TeamFearless

Waters, L. (n.d.). Visible Wellbeing. Lea Waters AM, PhD. https://www.leawaters.com/visible-wellbeing

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Collaboration and Wellbeing

1st December 2023

Given this week saw us all relish performances of ‘CLUE’ it’s opportune to reflect upon what it is about such events which benefit wellbeing – and there are many reasons!

Of course, there is magic…

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